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Every Mother's Child, What (Two-Mom) Families Can Do to Obtain Full Parental Rights in Colorado

By Barbara Lavender, Weird Sisters West, September 2003

There comes a point, for some lucky lovers, when you know you're solid--you're going to be together a long, loving time. Some then start wanting to expand their relationship with the addition of children. These days, there are many ways to bring children into a lesbian relationship, and turn it into a "2-mommies" family. We've got:

• Basic artificial insemination (AI), where one partner gets pregnant with donated sperm, from either an anonymous donor or a known donor who signs an agreement in which he waives all legal relationship with the child;
• The gamete inter-fallopian transfer (GIFT) procedure, where an ovum from one partner is implanted in the other partner and inseminated, also with donated sperm, making one of the partners the genetic parent, and the other partner the gestational parent, who carries and gives birth;
• The in vitro (IV) fertilization procedure, where an ovum is fertilized outside the body and then implanted, which can involve any of the sperm donor options, and either the ovum of the gestational mother, the ovum of her partner, or a donor ovum;
• Adoption, either foreign or domestic, through which only one of the partners can become the child's legal parent.

These children are carefully and thoroughly chosen and come into their families through much effort and expense on the part of both of their parents. They get the enviable privilege of having two mommies.

But the job of parenting is doubly hard for lesbian parents. Sadly, the concept of "family values" is narrowly defined to exclude them. All of the basics that are provided by society to protect heterosexual families are withheld from them. They are required to take extra measures to ensure that their children's relationships with both mothers is acknowledged.

Fortunately, in Colorado, it is possible now to have both mothers included on their children's birth certificates. This means that if the "legal" parent dies, the child is not orphaned or removed from its surviving mother - a possibility even if there is a Last Will appointing her as guardian. It means both parents can take the child to the doctor and enroll the child in school, without a special power of attorney that must be renewed every six months. If one mom goes to her daughter's basketball game while the "legal" mom is at work, it can be vital for her to be empowered to get medical care for her if she gets injured. Full parental rights for both moms also means either parent can get health insurance coverage for their child, the child can inherit and get Social Security benefits through both mothers. And, if the partners ever separate, the child's relationship with both of its mothers will be protected.

The Colorado Registrar of Births tried to stop these families from being protected, and failed. Some Colorado legislators introduced a bill to stop these cases, and failed. So far, it's 2-mommies - 2, and State of Colorado - 0! So keep on loving, bringing children into your love, and make sure your own family values are protected.